absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
