So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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