Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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