I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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