In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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