I will die if light touches me.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize