Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize