pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
