i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
