Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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