I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
