I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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