i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
