if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
