Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
false alarm. still invincible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize