can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
