WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
