Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize