I'm going to jail i love you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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