I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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