Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
