i don't like sucking hair
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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