There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
