i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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