he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize