Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
