Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
