didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
