ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm bleeding and have questions
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
