Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
