im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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