She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
