The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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