i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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