the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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