some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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