dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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