after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
should my penis look like a turkey
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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