then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
