Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
