Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
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Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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