He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
