ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
