OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I will die if light touches me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
