It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize