I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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