In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
