I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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