Please, let me fuck your mom
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
