You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
