I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
