yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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