The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
