Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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