We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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