tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
