I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
