Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So much rum. So many feels.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
