I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
